"WATCH OUT! My dishwashers gone ghetto"

This is what my friend Jay tells me last month when we stayed with them(the Byars). Oh no I thought, what happened did it fall in with the wrong crowd? is it packin' heat? get a grill? some 22's with spinners and a bad weave? How could this happen to such a nice dishwasher? Will I be safe alone with it in the kitchen? Well, as it turns out he shows me how it "went ghetto," the top drawer comes flying out when you open it and well it is just not working quite right but not broken enough to fix just yet. This has led me to start thinking of the appliances in my life as little people who are basically good but have a few character flaws, as to try to not get so frustrated with them. I will tell you about the "little people" in my life right now who live at the Funky Cold Medina Serviced (in the abstract sense apparently) Apartments. My dishwasher has gone narcoleptic, it just stops, until you realize it has stopped and you go in and give it a little bump, say wake up little guy,  and away it goes! How do you know it has stopped? you can actually hear the 757's that fly over our home on their way to the airport. The dryer is on speed, meth, crack whatever your generation calls the bad stuff, well it has a nasty $300 dollar a day habit. You can not leave this one unattended or it will fall off the wagon and go forever, i.e one day while we were out for 8 hours or while we slept last night. The toilets are apparently toddlers because you have to tell them to stop doing what they are doing like 20 times before they actually stop, in the states this would be jiggling the handle, here it is hitting the flush button on top of the lid like it is a whack a mole game. The heat, well, it is like the mob, or the dreaded love em and leave em guy, you are in or you are out, it is either pumping the heat all over you or you are freezing, depending on which square inch you are residing. The shower, well the shower in our room is a bright spot it is like your favorite team in their heyday, all fun and good times, you can get the temp just right, pressure for days, perfection! Oh, what, you are dying to know about the famous rangehood that won the Aussie Design Excellence Award in '88. It is soooo 80's, way too loud and obnoxious!
Pics on the above mentioned cuties will have to wait as we are trying to download Mad Men, Biggest Loser and the Soup, and the internet here is a bit like the government(sorry Julie) wastes money, (they charge $190/month for it), slow and unwilling to multi-task!