A funny thing happened recently, not funny haha but funny odd. The first friends that we met are our first friends to leave, our FIFO friends/
first in first out. I met her through her blog. I blog stalked her for about a year before we moved to Oz. Eventually once we moved here I got the courage to email her and she turned into an email friend, then she invited me to the American Thanksgiving at Balmoral and from there we emerged into a real "live" friendship. In a small world way, we would have met eventually, her BFF's Mom and M's Mom are BFF's back in California. We also ended up living about 500 meters from each other. I am confident are paths will cross again. For other friends that have already become so dear so quickly I have no such certainty.
With a four year visa and contract to match we are on the long haul end of the expats. Most assignments are a bit shorter, 2 years seems to be the norm. I am sure by the end of four years we will watch many of our friends leave, I think of us as the FILO friends/
first in last out. I have a few friends that are "locals" they maybe from somewhere else but they are not leaving, they are residents or citizens. I wonder what it would be like to be in their shoes making friends with people whose time will expire before the next World Cup?
Relationship fluidity and time expiration is a very strange aspect to this lifestyle. It is a bit like being at adult summer camp. You know it is not permanent. You know you only have a certain amount of time to accomplish whatever goal or desire you set out for when you agreed to this madness. You know your friends will move. You know you will move. Yet, you still begin friendships and seek out new relationships and put time and energy into them. You do all of this despite the knowledge that some people you may never see again after your visa expires. In some cases, friendships go deeper and farther than you would at "home" because just like summer camp, you are somewhat isolated from all that you know, you do not have family around, so your friends become your de facto family. There is always the chance in any situation that your friends will move but here as an expat it is a confirmed certainty. Just like summer camp, life is no less real, but it is not
really your real life, it is a fun/challenging/exciting/scary/wild diversion for a set period of time. You throw yourself whole heartily into the mix and then when it is over, well
it is over and you take the 10:30am or the 1:30pm back to LAX then further afield and camp is over. Just like camp you sign up for everything you can in an effort to have as much fun in a finite of time. You take trips like mad. You never waste a beautiful weekend running errands. You live like you have an expiration date, which in reality, you do.
Some people leave their real life behind exactly as it was. When they fly home they sleep in their own bed, use their own towels, drive their own cars and socialize with their old friends. They slip right back into their "real" life. In some ways I can imagine it feels like you never left which could be wonderful or it could be terribly challenging to commit to one life or another. Others pack up their old life lock stock and barrel and have a blank slate waiting when they return. We are a blank slate and for me that is perfect.
